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My Mum Thinks I'm her Sister – She HATES her Sister! What Do I Do?


Understanding Identity Changes in Dementia

It’s common for people living with dementia to see others differently because their sense of identity and time can fluctuate.

One day, your mum may think of you as her sister or friend, while on another day, she might recognise you as her daughter. This depends on how well her brain is processing information at that moment.

The key thing to remember is that she still sees you as someone very special. By placing you in a role like a sister or friend, she’s showing how important you are to her.


Responding with Patience and Understanding

Wherever possible, try to respond with patience and understanding. Acknowledge her feelings and gently guide the conversation to keep the connection. For example, if she calls you by a different name, you can say:

“Oh, you think I’m Janine? Okay... So how are you today? It’s a beautiful sunny day outside. Would you like to go outside for a walk?”

This way, you aren’t correcting her or increasing confusion, but instead, you’re creating an opportunity to connect and foster wellbeing for you both.


Caring for Yourself and Your Loved Ones

It’s also very important to care for yourself and other loved ones providing support, as this can be a very difficult time for everyone involved. By looking after your own wellbeing, you will be in a much better place to support your mum and cherish the beautiful moments you have together.




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